“Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years.” – Prince Phillip Windsor
What is the difference between telling the truth and being honest? Let me put it to you this way: I always tell the truth, but I don’t always say everything on my mind. We live in a world populated by other individuals and need to consider their reactions to the things we say and do. If we are not careful, we can needlessly hurt people by saying that which is better left unsaid. When we open our mouth is there a good reason behind it or is it just business as usual without much thought?
I work with other people for a living and often my success is based on their performance even more than my own. So I have made a science out of trying to think things through from the other guy’s perspective. Now admittedly, that is when I have my thinking cap on and am not just operating out of instinct. I make plenty of mistakes on this score, so don’t throw this in my face later. But I know that if I am wise in my interactions with others, I can accomplish far more than if I alienate those around me.
So what am I trying to say? Well, it’s really just a principal: “just because something is true, it does not always follow that we need to say it.” You can be an honest individual and still be tactful and considerate of the feelings of those around you. A corollary to that concept is that “if the person is not able to receive your thoughts, you may as well keep them to yourself.” We do not always need to say what comes to mind.
Sadly, some of us are almost compulsive when it comes to our interaction with others and we leave a lot of wreckage in our path. I have been guilty of that carelessness far too often. So I am learning to think before I speak. I ask myself if it really needs to be said and then ask a second question. "Will saying it make things better or just make me feel better by getting it off my chest?" These two steps have taken me a long way toward being more effective in my work with others. I hope they will help you too.
“Be sure your brain is in motion before you put your mouth in gear.”
